- James Coburn as Sidney Schaefer, The President's Analyst
Almost as much, everyone hates Berkheimer. You know, the local tax people. So I gritted my teeth when I opened my mailbox yesterday to find a card telling me I had a registered letter from them. I stopped at the post office this a.m. and picked it up. It was a notification that I'd forgotten to pay my $8 local per capita tax to Souderton Boro., and Berkheimer had been called in to break my kneecaps. Well, not break my kneecaps, but if I don't pay up in 15 days, they'll have my wages attached.
"I can't have my wages garnisheed."
-Chevy Chase, Fletch
Truly, they are the sand in the vaseline, I thought. I pondered how I could make my payment as inconvenient as possible. Wait...vaseline. What would happen if i gave the check a little smear of vaseline? I can't think of anything more...somewhat disturbing than a slightly-lubed check. Or maybe just some butter. Vaseline plus some coffee grounds? Of course they could refuse the check, or the bank could, and then I CAN have my wages garnisheed...